I won't grow up, I won't grow up, I don't care if I'm 43, I don't care if I'm 43
I went to a party yesterday and found myself having the time
of my life. Did I mention said
party was for a six year old? Yes, I went to a 6 year old’s birthday party that
was better than any other one I've been to in a long time. Did I also mention
it has been a while since I've been to any kind of party at all?
We played laser tag. Myself, probably 4 other adults and a bunch of six and nine year old boys (who were from another party being held at the same time) and my daughter, spent a total of forty minutes yesterday shooting lasers at each other in a literal attempt to knock each others' lights out and I swear to you, there was no where else in the world I would have rather been and that includes on a date with a man who I would actually want to see again.
Here I am, 43 years old and I'm running around trying to avoid being beamed at and actually being upset that I have to wait 5 seconds for my vest to light up again because a kid named Timmy with a giant scab on his knee from when he fell off the monkey bars, snuck up behind me and got me before I could get him. I did say I am 43 years old, right?
I then spent my night out with a guy friend going to see the movie “Hangover” and laughing to the point of near full on crying watching three of the characters get stun gunned by a bunch of 12 years old and the lead character faux humping a tiger.
I feel like Peter Pan's sister Patricia who's so immature she didn't even have enough patience to wait for Wendi to get it together and climb out the freakin window.
This is likely why I have trouble being involved with men my own age. I still wear pants all the time because I don't want to be caught off guard just in case a game of kickball breaks out. Where that would happen I don't know since I'm either at home in my office, driving my car or sitting on my therapist's couch and yet my wardrobe choices have been long been based on this premise.
What can I say? That is who I am, like or not. Anyway, I happen to think Captain Hook is pretty hot. Okay, maybe not the nicest guy in the world but I always wanted to date a “sailor”.
Original LA Moms Blog post. Jessica Bern is the creator/producer of the web series bernthis.com about a neurotic woman's journey through her weekly visits to her therapist's office. You can also find her doling out advice over at themouthyhousewives








