LA Moms Blog

Who Am I to Judge?

Its bad enough to have your friends "Mommie judge" you when your kid is getting away with something because you're too tired of saying "no"...again. Or when she's climbing on all the furniture in your house and you don't seem phased. Oh, or when she plays "beep beep" in the driver seat of your car because its the only way she'll eventually agree to get into her own seat. Or you've given up on bringing every type of nutritional snack with you to the park and you're happy she at least ate some cheese flavored rice cakes.

But when Moms you don't even know pass judgement on you at the playground, at toddler group or the grocery store its almost too much to bear. I mean, we are all in this together. We're all overwhelmed and tired and not always at our best, right? And who knows what is taking place outside of that moment when you / me / the other Moms decided to pass judgement. Who are any of us to judge?

Trust me. I am hard enough on myself when I lose my temper, my child gets hurt, or forget to bring something important along. I don't need everyone else making me feel bad too. Like the time I turned my head for a split second and Vivi took a fall at the playground and the Dad next to me (on his cell phone I might add) guilted me into thinking I had to race her to the pediatricians' office because she "might have a concussion." (She was fine, no bump, not even crying and mad that we left the playground.) Or when she refused to sit in group for snack time but kept eating while standing at the table and no one, not the teacher nor I could get her to sit despite my best efforts (which included removing her from the table against her will). Or today when I lost my temper at my husband who asked me for help at the deli counter at the same time that my daughter was begging me for something to eat. Not my finest moment!! The faces on the Moms at Gelsons were priceless. Of course none of them knew that we were racing to get home for a nap and I thought hubby was asking me the same question for the 4th time.

I Used to Be an Elf

There was a time in my single days when I was really on top of my game during the holidays. I baked, I decorated, I delivered beautiful baskets of goodies to friends, family and co-workers. I got my holiday cards out on time. And I never lost a stack of them.

Of course. back then things were different. Back then I really celebrated Christmas. Everyone called me the Christmas Elf. I was the best tree light trimmer you've ever seen. I have a technique that gets loads of lights onto the tree and there's never an empty spot.

Today I am a Mom of a toddler, which explains a lot about my lack of elvish timeliness. And I don't celebrate Christmas anymore...unless I am with my parents. Don't get me wrong. I am no grinch. Christmas is wonderful! But since my conversion to Judaism four years ago decorating my house in white lights and trimming the tree are no longer part of the routine. There was a time when I really missed it. Then there was a time when I really resented it. Now I'm very content with Christmas again because Christmas is at Grandma's house. That's the ticket!

But has this celebratory change affected my Christmas spirit? Or is it really just an extension of my usual inability to be 100% on top of my game since becoming a mother? I found a stack of Christmas cards in my bag today that somehow didn't get mailed. Today - really? I'm going to mail them anyway. Most of them are for my Mommie group so I am hoping my Mom friends will "get it" when they get them. Or will they think that I've totally grinched out? I can only hope for the best, maybe they will extend me a little belated holiday spirit.

This is an original post for the LA Moms Blog. Laura Gerson also blogs about the best sites and sales at BestMomSites.